To: J. Daniels,
CC: J. Walker, G. Gordon, Cpt. Morgan
Re: Last week’s meeting
Dear Mr. Daniels,
I would like to start by thanking you and your colleagues for a wonderful night out. If I am honest, I was a bit dubious at the beginning but you and your colleagues were able to relax me and ensure me a positive experience. I would also like to compliment your affiliation with Coca Cola- It is definitely a beneficial merger. I do not however, support your attempted merger with Ms Nescafe. Such a partnership should not be attempted.
You played a pivotal role in the evening, urging me to explore conversational areas I would have previously kept to myself. For instance, with the help of your colleague Cpt.Morgan, I was able to tell the group about the sexual encounters of 13 year old me as well as my thoughts on immigration, discovering that I am more right wing than previously thought. I would like to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to tell my boyfriend how I REALLY felt about his new shirt, the number of children I wanted him to give me and allowing him to still think I was beautiful when the remenance of the meal found it’s way into my hair. Your participation in the display of my new underwear, my karaoke performance of ‘I will always love you’ and the 80’s dance off with the unwilling 70 year old gentleman in the wheelchair is commendable- I could not have undertaken such tasks without you.
I would, however, like to discuss the role you have played in my family in recent years. Although you have been privy to some wonderful evenings, you have also caused heart break and tears. Someone I once held in high regard has been reduced to a pathetic, shaking mess, looking like sin and stinking of shame. I understand you mean well but unfortunately, he can no longer cope without constant contact from you and/or your colleagues. Your involvement has undermined the foundations of a family unit and eaten away at a little girl’s childhood. Your presence has instilled fear, loathing and distrust, breaking sacred bonds and changing what was meant to be a predetermined course. You have destroyed a man, a family, a life.
However, while slamming one door closed, you kindly allowed another to open leading to new experiences, new lives, unearthed happiness. Your previous actions gave way to the rebuilding of those crumbled foundations, slowly but surely. The anger is melting away to reveal the love we forgot we had. So thank you…All in all, Mr. Daniels, you have provided my family with an array of experiences, not always good but not always bad…experiences nonetheless.
That being said, I do look forward to doing business with you again, Mr. Daniels. I would, however, just like to assure you that our dealings will be on my terms only. I kindly ask that you refrain from any unauthorized visits to myself and/or my family. I do look forward to some interaction over the holiday season and will be in contact in due course. Until then, please enjoy your day…responsibly.
Happy Holidays, Mr.Daniels!
All the Best,