Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut

February 2, 2011

As I walked to the tube this morning, a girl jumped out of a car in front of me and tottered in her highest heels toward the tube station. Her twig like legs threatened to snap should a stiff breeze find her and her jeans were definitely purchased in a children’s clothing store. This affliction seems to be affecting a great deal of the 16-30 year olds all over the country (although I did see an anorexic 60 year old sporting what must have been the out fit on the front of the newest Top Shop catalogue…talk about old, decrypted sheep in painfully small lamb’s clothing). It was only last week, while walking through my Uni halls I concluded I had missed the memo informing us students of the new requirement to return to Uni with not only books, papers, pencils but also 0% body fat. I may ask my media department to make one of those ‘Feed the Children’ commercials based on London teens…complete with a sad song by Bono or John Lennon.


Yet as I sat and read the morning paper, I was taken aback to see the possible implimentation of a ‘Fat Tax’ nationwide in a bid to stop the invasion of fat people. I can hear you laughing out loud already (as I did, much to the dismay of the passengers in my tube carriage). This tax would apply to all those opening a fish and chip shop, a kebab shop, pizza shop, a chicken shop or even a McDonalds. This one off fee would hopefully deter ‘unhealthy,’ fast food restaurants Fast-food-obesity-big-1-.jpgfrom opening, stop people from eating fatty foods hereby, solving the nation’s problem with obesity and saving mankind FOREVER!


Well done, MP’s country wide! I am glad my tax dollars are going to supporting you creating such numbskull ideas….And don’t think I haven’t seen you in line for a Big Mac! At this point, human beings have free will, although the government is trying to curb this disgusting human affliction! Everyday, people around the country are making decisions on what to wear, what mode of transport to take, tea or coffee…. delicious double Baconator with cheese or a boring, soggy ol’ salad. KFC, McDonalds and even Sam’s chicken are legitimate businesses kept afloat by the money they receive from their affluent loyal customer base. They are providing goods and services (greasy fries and questionable deep fried drum sticks) to customers who want to eat their food. The Burger King in Trafalgar Square employs bouncers as the the late night crowd of patrons can be overwhelming and sometimes violent. And have you ever been in the line up for a kebab at 3 am on a Saturday, ready to kill for a piece of what may be meat(?) covered in garlic mayonnaise and ‘special sauce.’ I have…on numerous occasions. Despite a tax on fat, these lines will not decrease for the fat or the thin!


I love fast food- we all do! I am not fat ! I do have a few lbs that I could do without, but I am certainly not in danger of putting strain on the NHS budget to facilitate my gastric by-pass. This is not unlike the majority of the population. Not all fast food eaters are large. I agree that some people should be driving to the gym and not Taco Bell but overall, I fail to see the need to punish everyone involved. We are meant to be a democratic nation yet it seems our liberties are are being curbed- for lack of a better phrase, they are trimming the fat.


My heart also went out to those who are ‘big boned’ or larger. What does such a ‘tax’ do to their self esteem? Beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes; being healthy or not healthy is one’s prerogative. What will the government propose next? A weigh in before you eat at a restaurant and a menu based on the outcome? (Baby Spice, a salad for you and Posh Spice, please eat this steak and chips!)


Should this fat tax disappear, Burger King, Taco Bell, please use the extra funds to support my ‘Feed a Teen’ fund or I will be forced to write a Christmas charity single for the cause. (Watch out Simon Cowell!)


Chicken Cottage, McDonald’s, lets your flags fly freely! I will be seeing you this weekend with my friend Mr. Cameron. He will be having the McChicken Meal- super sized.

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  • Reply Big Mur May 21, 2011 at 2:26 am

    Here in New Zealand our all wise Government tried to introduce what was commonly known as a “Fart” tax. This was a tax on the emissions of the bovine (cow) population commonly is use throughout
    our Dairy Industry. Not only was the general population up in arms about it but there were protests in the street and a march of farmers on tractors to our Parliament Buildings! (As I recall
    a huge bucket full of excrement was dumpted on the Parliament’s fron lawn!).

    Beware any Government will try to tax anything if they think they can get away with it…

  • Reply Le Canadienne Belles de Jour July 26, 2011 at 1:15 am

    That is too funny! How ridiculous we humans can be!

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